A Guide to Helping Your Student Athlete Stay Balanced

Sports are engrained in the lives of kids. More than 27 million children across the U.S. play in recreation and travel leagues, according to national data.

As kids and teens join teams and show up to play their sports, they learn how to collaborate, be part of a team, follow directions, grow their potential, and push themselves beyond what they see as their comfort zone.

Along with all of the life skills they build, sports can be a challenge to balance for some student athletes. Fitting in practices, conditioning and games with schoolwork, other activities, and family life can be tough.

Our experts explore the benefits and challenges of youth sports for student athletes, and offer their perspective on how to find the balance for your child’s mental and emotional health.

Is playing a sport good for your child’s mental health?

You simply can’t label playing sports as “good” or “bad” for a child’s mental health. There are many factors that influence a child’s experience with playing sports.

“This is a case of ‘the fruit depends on the root’,” said Nicole Yeo, LMSW, a primary therapist who works with student athletes through Rochester Regional Health’s School-Based Health Center at Edison Career & Technology High School.

Every student comes from a unique environment, bringing their own:

• level of investment from family members
• family structure
• personal level of motivation
• internal resiliency
• support system of family and friends

The culture of the team itself is also hugely important. How coaches, players, organizations, and school districts function together affects a child’s sports experience.

How sports are good for children

Sports teach student athletes that moving their body and getting regular physical activity supports their physical, mental, and emotional health.

Beyond the physical skills, student athletes also learn everyday life skills that will stay with them as they grow into adults.

“Sports are an excellent environment to learn how to take risks, fail in a good way, and how to be compassionate toward others while being passionate about the competition,” Yeo said.

Research shows playing sports encourages growth in an area of the brain called the anterior mid-cingulate cortex (aMCC). This part of the brain engages tenacity, willpower, overcoming adversity – along with regulating emotions, critical thinking, and risk analysis.

Playing sports provides a solid foundation for building life skills like cooperation, problem solving, accountability, and time management.

Student athletes learn how to manage their academic responsibilities alongside fueling their body with healthy food, good quality sleep, and clean gear.

How sports may become problematic for children

Two of the most common and significant concerns for student athletes are feeling overwhelmed and/over-involved, and unhealthy personal conflict.

As a school-based therapist, Yeo sees student athletes frequently who use sports as an outlet for being overwhelmed – physically getting their frustrations out.

“Often, these student athletes are burdened with expectations from a variety of sources including teachers, parents, peers, and coaches,” Yeo said. “If student athletes are becoming overwhelmed by their sport, it is generally because of they are playing too many sports at once or have no breaks between seasons.”

Often student athletes need the most support with the human aspect of sports. Learning to engage well with other athletes and balancing competition with kindness and compassion is important.

“As adults, we need to support student athletes in learning to manage different social and team dynamics, how to handle both losing and winning with grace and kindness, and how to be handle constructive and positive feedback,” Yeo said.

What are some signs of burnout in student athletes?

Knowing what to look for is half the battle when it comes to spotting signs of burnout in your child.

The most important thing to notice is any significant changes for what your child is normally like – not only physically, but also socially and emotionally.

Physical burnout includes things like:

• Being overtired
• Not being able to think clearly
• Overuse injuries

Social burnout happens when athletes feel like they have to navigate complex social dynamics without the support of any adults. These student athletes often end up wanting to quit or actually quitting because of teammates or coaches.

Mental and/or emotional burnout happens when student athletes no longer play a sport as a way to grow but instead see it as their main identity.

When a student athlete starts to burn out emotionally, they might lose a game or match and start to say or think things like, “I’m a failure”, “I suck”, or “I’ll never be good enough.”

“Student athletes who have these thoughts and feelings are losing who they are in pursuit of becoming a specific stereotype of a ‘successful athlete’ instead of enjoying being a student athlete,” Yeo said.

How student athletes find their limits – and still succeed

As you come to an understanding of how student athletes grow through their sport and how there is also potential for things to go wrong, it’s important to be an informed parent and caregiver.

We cannot always protect our children from everything. Teaching kids that discomfort is the enemy does not help them succeed.

Instead of teaching their child to avoid any feeling of being uncomfortable or overwhelmed, parents can help their child learn how to manage those feelings while still engaging with the task at hand. When a child of any age knows they are loved and supported regardless of the outcome, they will become resilient.

“Discomfort and uncertainty are how kids learn when they have the proper support to be able to do that,” Yeo said. “This is why parents should avoid rescuing them out of any type of discomfort unless it is a clear, inappropriate safety concern.”

Use the proper safeguards: Young children don’t learn to play hockey with a solid hockey puck. They begin with a tennis ball that won’t hurt them, wear protective gear, then work their way toward the real thing.

Make sure they are having fun: Fun looks different to all ages. A six-year-old playing basketball looks different than a 16-year-old playing basketball.

Rest when it’s needed: If the focus becomes about the outcome instead of the skill and sport, encourage your child to step back for a little while. Play another game with them, go fishing, have them get dinner with a group of friends, and let them be a kid.

Competition can be a very healthy way to engage with the world. It’s helping them to scale it and learn where it fits.

“Competition is good for your development emotionally and mentally,” Yeo said. “Competition can be a very healthy way to engage with the world. Once they learn to scale that and recognize where that fits in their life, they will be able to succeed on and off the field.”