Ways For Teens To Manage Stress

Navigating varying levels of stress is something that all adults live with on a daily basis.

For teenagers, learning to live with stress is part of healthy development. A manageable amount of stress can help teens practice coping, build confidence, and become more resilient over time.

But stress can become problematic when it is too intense, lasts too long, happens during an already vulnerable time, or comes from experiences that feel unsafe or overwhelming.

Jonathan Davila, MD, is the Director of the Rochester Regional Health Psychiatry Training program and works with teenagers and young adults through the Rochester region. He has suggestions on how they can learn to better identify and manage stress.

What does stress look like in teens?

Stress is a reaction felt by your body and mind to changing events or situations that are happening every day. These changes, known as stressors, all vary in intensity and how long they last.

One of the most significant sources of stress in teenagers is peer-related stress. Adults and younger children experience this as well, but in a less intense way.

“As teens progress into early adulthood, there tend to be more social stressors as they navigate new types of relationships, new levels of relationship intimacy with friends and romantic partners, and then also navigating who they are themselves,” Dr. Davila said.

How to spot stress in teens

With some teenagers, the older they are, the more likely they are to talk about the stress they are experiencing. Still, there are other signs of stress that may not be obvious.

The most obvious way for a teen or adolescent to show they are stressed is by verbalizing it. Being present to listen is important.

Changes in disposition and moodiness are another common way for stress to display. Teenagers can be a rollercoaster of emotion, but if there is a significant change in how they present themselves, that can be a major sign of stress.

Other signs to watch for are:

• Withdrawal
• Anxiety and worry
• Irritability
• Aggression
• Self-harm
• Suicidal ideation

There can also be physical symptoms of stress. Some physical symptoms that may be linked to stress include:

• GI symptoms
• Lack of sleep
• Increased fatigue
• Headaches
• Chronic pain

Sources of stress for teens

Stress is not automatically a problem for teens. Any change can be a stressor, including positive changes that a teen may be excited about.

At the same time, too much stress, prolonged stress, or stress that happens when a teen is already vulnerable can become difficult to manage.

“I often encourage parents not to treat all stress as bad,” Dr. Davila said. “Some stress is part of growing, learning, and becoming more independent. What we want to watch for is stress that feels overwhelming, persistent, poorly timed, or starts to get in the way of daily life.”

There are several different categories in which these changes may be happening.

School

Homework, grades, and attendance can all be areas from which stress can stem. Moving up from middle school to high school or high school to college or a career can also bring a great deal of change and stressful situations.

For those who are choosing colleges or universities, the stress around whether their resume is good enough can be daunting.

Social

Navigating peer relationships are often a major source of stress for teenagers. Dynamics change rapidly as old friends may grow apart and new friends develop, which can affect mood and behavior.

As teens begin to develop their identities, they may be navigating changing friendships, romantic relationships, body changes, and questions about belonging. For some teens, this may also include questions about sexual orientation or gender identity. All of this can be new, confusing, and stressful.

Beginning to figure out who they want to be and which group(s) they want to be a part of – a life-long pursuit – can also become a stressor.

Family

The older an adolescent or teenager becomes, the more autonomy they have. In most households, this can create stressors in the home ranging from parent-parent conflict to parent-teen conflict to a temporary emotional distancing between parents and teens.

Social media is another issue that can arise between parents and teens. Parents who monitor their children’s social media use may have conflicts over how much autonomy their children want vs. how much they need.

Once teenagers are on social media, navigating those dynamics with their peers, keeping up with being part of a group, maintaining a certain image, and potentially being anonymously bullied can all be sources of stress as well.

How to help a teenager who is overwhelmed

There are several practices families can put into place to manage stress well in the moment and develop long-term coping skills. The best method overall is talking about stress openly.

Validating the way a person is feeling or experiencing the world can open them up. If a person is able to listen to what is going on and doesn’t get caught up in how someone is acting, they may be able to discern why they are acting the way they are acting.

Taking some extra time to figure out what is going on that is causing a child to act a certain way will help both the parent and the child in the long run.

Ensure your family has a regular set of practices to de-stress. Dr. Davila suggests some of these ideas:

• Listening to music
• Exercising regularly
• Mindfulness and deep breathing

“Using these strategies in 10-30-minute breaks are a really great tool,” Dr. Davila said. “Breaks shouldn’t be several hours; they aren’t designed to be used as a distraction. That can turn into procrastination, which can lead to more stress.”

When used properly, regular stress management is similar to a vitamin; it can help to regulate your stress levels when incorporated as a daily routine.

These strategies can be helpful tools, but they are not a substitute for professional support when symptoms are severe, persistent, or involve concerns about safety.

Asking for more help for a stressed teen

If stress lasts for two weeks or longer, significantly affects a teenager’s functioning, or interferes with sleep, school, relationships, mood, or daily life, ask your pediatrician for guidance or a referral.

If there is concern for a child’s immediate safety, don’t wait – seek help as soon as possible.

Genesee Mental Health Center takes walk-in appointments 3 days a week: Mondays & Wednesdays from 8:00 am-3:00 pm with a break from 12:00-1:00pm, and Fridays from 8:00 - 10:00 am.

Finding a therapist who can work with your child can be a helpful addition for the entire family. The assistance they provide will help everyone, both in the short term and in the long term.

“It helps to normalize that stress does not mean you are weak or that you can’t ‘handle life’”, Dr. Davila said. “The strong thing to do is recognize what’s happening and act on it.”