Is My Child Getting Burned Out?

Children and teens seem busier than ever these days – often packing in school, sports, extracurricular activities, hangout time with friends, jobs, and other things into a single day.

As activities and routines pick up their pace, stress can begin to affect both adults and children – sometimes to the point of feeling burned out.

Amanda Lloyd, MD, a pediatrician with Rochester Regional Health’s Bay Creek Medical Campus, points out what to look for with your child and some tips to help if you’re noticing signs of burnout.

What burnout looks like for kids

Burnout is more than an attitude or mood. It is a psychological condition induced from chronic stress that is not being managed well. This can stem from feelings of being overwhelmed and a lack of control over the situation.

“We can see it at any age, but we usually talk about it more with adults,” Dr. Lloyd said.

With younger children, burnout can display itself by reverting to behaviors they showed as toddlers or preschool-age children. Some of these include:

• being clingier to parents or caregivers
• change in sleep habits
• worsening nightmares
• thumb sucking
• bathroom accidents

Teenagers show more signs of burnout through disconnection and isolation. outward displays of something deeper may look like:

• disruption of typical sleep patterns
• lack of interest in usual activities
• isolation from friends
• changes in appetite

Does burnout show up all at once or slowly?

Since burnout is a condition that stems from chronic stress, the way it begins to show up is slow as opposed to sudden. This makes the signals a bit harder to pick up on.

With teenagers, the signs of burnout can look similar to depression or anxiety or substance abuse.

“Knowing what your child’s normal behaviors look like make a difference when they start to shift away from what that normal is,” Dr. Lloyd said. “If they start to act differently for more than a few days, that should raise some flags.”

How to help kids through burnout

The best thing anyone can do as a parent or loved one is talk with your children. Start by asking your children how they are feeling and what has been going on in their lives to establish what their baseline is.

Another good reminder for your children (and yourself) is to explain to them that stressful situations do not last forever. Knowing situations have beginnings and ends is comforting, especially when it comes to routines. Reinforcing that knowledge can provided much needed reassurance.

For younger children, setting up a nighttime routine before a school day can help establish a sense of normalcy. Going through what to do when they wake up in the morning before school can do the same thing. Keep a sense of humor- play games with your children, have family time together. 

It also helps by setting a good example and showing them how stress is affecting you too.

“Empathy is a powerful tool. Talk about how you feel like things have been a little unstable lately too,” Dr. Lloyd said. “Let your child know they are not alone in their thoughts and emotions.”

When to look for help with recovering from burnout

Some children will be able to better manage their stress with these ideas in mind. For others, it can take some more effort and possibly different people to help.

Your child’s teachers and counselors are great resources for parents and caregivers to reach out to, along with their pediatrician. Asking them if they are noticing similar changes and signs of burnout in your child can be helpful.

Check in with other family members, your child’s friends or their friends’ parents to see if they are seeing what you are seeing. It will be helpful for you as a parent or caregiver to know whether you are alone or not in seeing these changes in your child.

“There’s always a huge network of people who are available to be helpers and a good source of information about your child,” Dr. Lloyd said.

If you, and/or others, see changes in your child’s behavior, reach out for help. The signs of burnout are very similar to other psychological illnesses - like anxiety and depression, and your child may need outside assistance to cope with those conditions.